Happily tiedSmallThe Magic of Making Up, a book written by T. “Dub” Jackson, sheds light upon strategies on how you can begin winning back your ex if the two of you have broken up. Five steps, in particular, bear a notable mention, because they represent the basic outline for a plan to rekindle the flames of a love gone wrong.

First, communicate with your ex-girlfriend in a casual, non-threatening manner. The point is to keep you in her life in a very subtle way. Do not play hard to get and ignore her; this may give her ample opportunity to completely walk away, without giving you a second thought. Instead, let her know that you are around in a friendly way.

Second, send an occasion, light email. The methods that you choose for communication should be partially on the distant side. Stick with higher tech methods such as computer email, instant messaging, and/or cell phone texting. No heavy topics; no emotional poetry. Send quick friendly messages with light subject matter.

Third, if you absolutely know that you’re interested in winning back your ex and there is no other love out there for you, DO NOT see other women. Please do not even waste your time. If you did, she would see right through the game that you are playing and she might decide, once and for all, that you are too immature for her.

Fourth, be kind and thoughtful. Remember the important events in your ex-girlfriend’s life: her birthday, your (former) anniversary, her graduation, a new job, etc. Send her cards for these occasions to let her know how kind you are to remember. She will see that you are thinking of her, and your genuine interest in her is what will help you win your ex-girlfriend back.

Fifth, when some time has passed, and you have kept in touch with her on a casual level, you should give her an occasional telephone call. Catch up on old times; catch up on what’s happening in your life now. Give her an “in” into your life, so that she does not have to hear rumors and wonder if such things are true. If she communicates with you, your chances of winning your ex-girlfriend back are greatly increased. Do not remain a mystery to her. Open up.

The most important step is to keep in touch with her. Wait until you have had time to simmer your emotions down a notch or two before you begin communication with her. You most definitely do not want to scare her away. You will want to exude the near-perfect balance between self-confidence and tender loving care.

All breakups are different, so there is no one surefire method to winning back your ex. You will need to do a bit of trial and error, and you will need to customize the process for your specific situation. One thing is positive, however. You will never win her back if you do not at least give it a try.

Try the Magic of Making Up if you’re serious about winning back your ex.

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Romantic Valentine CardXSmallThink Before You Try to Get Your Girlfriend Back

If you had any idea how much you would miss your girlfriend after the breakup you would never have been so cavalier about your relationship while you were together. Hoping that it is not too late, you are wracking your brain trying to think of any reason why she might want to get back together with you.

Of course you can apologize, and while that is a start, you can be sure that it will not be enough to undo the hurt that you have caused. But regardless of how you proceed a heartfelt apology is the first step. You know you cannot take back words, and you cannot set back the clock, but you can let her know that you are sincere in your regret for the hurt that you have caused. While the apology is the first step, if done right, it can go a long way towards getting your girl back.

Now comes the really hard part. You have to be patient and attentive. Start small conversations with your ex girlfriend. You do not want to have them too frequently, and you want her to be happy when she is done talking to you. As hard as it is, you want to keep your conversations brief so that she has time to miss you. The conversation is just enough to remind her of all of the things that she likes and misses about you, but you have to have the discipline to wrap it up quickly and on a positive note.

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Engineer A Better Relationship

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Bad Mood? Stay Home!

If you are in a grumpy or edgy mood, do not even attempt to interact with your ex girlfriend, because you will just do more harm than good. Get yourself into the habit of putting your best foot forward when you are dealing with any one.

So, with the apology behind you, she now looks forward to talking to you because you are always so supportive and attentive. What’s more, you are always in such a great mood, that talking to you always makes her feel better.

When you are interacting with her it is paramount that you pay attention to what she is saying. Do not interrupt her, but do ask questions so that she knows that you are listening. Do not tell her how to think or act, but if she asks for your opinion give her a carefully crafted answer. You do not want to boss her around, but you do want to be supportive.

You also want to watch for clues that your reconciliation plan is working. For example you want to notice if she is genuinely happy to see you when you arrive, and does she look for you more often than before. If you see any positive sign at all this indicates that you are on the right track to win her back.

By reminding her of your good qualities and by being attentive and caring you have given your ex girlfriend a chance to fall in love with you all over again. So if you want to get your girlfriend back, take a minute to think about what it is that ruined your relationship, and fix it.

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Regardless of his reasons for telling you that he wants more space, your first outward reaction should be one of respecting his wishes. Deep inside you may feel upset, confused and rather emotional. If you are hurting because you truly love this man, you will respect him by giving him his space initially. You’re lucky, in reality, because he doesn’t want to break things off for good at this point. So don’t give him reason to do that and you’ve got the best opportunity for winning back your ex.

Author of The Magic of Making Up, T. “Dub” Jackson, gives readers a step-by-step program to rekindle the flames of a love once thought of as lost. The following tips culled from his book are particularly noteworthy.

  1. You may not want to lose any pride, but worse, you don’t want to lose his love altogether. Give him his room to breathe. Play a little bit hard to get. At first, don’t always be there for him if he calls. Keep yourself busy with other friends and activities and he may come to the conclusion that he desires you more than ever.

  2. If you know that your ex-boyfriend still feels love for you, you should communicate with him on a platonic level. Friendship is the virtue that has staying power. Communicate in short, sweet and kind messages through brief telephone conversations, text messages and email. Invite him to go out with a group of friends to an event in which he has a major interest. Through this method of keeping in touch, he will remember how much fun he experienced with you in the beginning. Don’t overwhelm him and he may realize how much he wants to be a part of your life again.
  3. When he seems ready to get a bit closer to you, on a different level, this is the time to reminisce about how much fun you had with past experiences. Remember the good times and laugh … a lot. Avoid the negative experiences. If a negative experience surfaces, show him that you’re a well-adjusted woman and that you’ve learned how to let things go. Life is too short to focus on the negative. 
  4. If your ex-boyfriend becomes more distant to you, then you must give him his space. Tell him you want to be friends. Tell him you think that spending a significant portion of your life together meant something to you and a friendship is better than no relationship at all. The space that your ex-boyfriend desires can be a learning experience for you too. You’ll have the space to see things from a distance, which may give you insight into the relationship that you did not gain prior. 
  5. If, indeed, your ex-boyfriend is beginning to show that he cares deeply again, share with him how you feel. Talk openly and candidly, but avoid desperation and over-the-top emotion. Show him how well-grounded and mature you’ve become. If his body language and mannerisms prove that he still needs space, give it to him in a friendly way and allow a more natural movement for the rekindling of love to occur. 

Space in a relationship can be a breath of fresh air for both parties. Taking the time to step back and gain insight is very healthy. It is NOT the end of the world, or the relationship. Leave the door open for a lasting friendship, and true love may be returned to you.  

When you’re ready to get all the details of winning back your ex then go check out T. “Dub” Jackson’s book The Magic of Making Up.


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Winning back your ex is serious business.  If you want to be armed with every technique in the arsenal go check out this ebook on winning back your ex.

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