Romantic Valentine CardXSmallThink Before You Try to Get Your Girlfriend Back

If you had any idea how much you would miss your girlfriend after the breakup you would never have been so cavalier about your relationship while you were together. Hoping that it is not too late, you are wracking your brain trying to think of any reason why she might want to get back together with you.

Of course you can apologize, and while that is a start, you can be sure that it will not be enough to undo the hurt that you have caused. But regardless of how you proceed a heartfelt apology is the first step. You know you cannot take back words, and you cannot set back the clock, but you can let her know that you are sincere in your regret for the hurt that you have caused. While the apology is the first step, if done right, it can go a long way towards getting your girl back.

Now comes the really hard part. You have to be patient and attentive. Start small conversations with your ex girlfriend. You do not want to have them too frequently, and you want her to be happy when she is done talking to you. As hard as it is, you want to keep your conversations brief so that she has time to miss you. The conversation is just enough to remind her of all of the things that she likes and misses about you, but you have to have the discipline to wrap it up quickly and on a positive note.

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Engineer A Better Relationship

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Bad Mood? Stay Home!

If you are in a grumpy or edgy mood, do not even attempt to interact with your ex girlfriend, because you will just do more harm than good. Get yourself into the habit of putting your best foot forward when you are dealing with any one.

So, with the apology behind you, she now looks forward to talking to you because you are always so supportive and attentive. What’s more, you are always in such a great mood, that talking to you always makes her feel better.

When you are interacting with her it is paramount that you pay attention to what she is saying. Do not interrupt her, but do ask questions so that she knows that you are listening. Do not tell her how to think or act, but if she asks for your opinion give her a carefully crafted answer. You do not want to boss her around, but you do want to be supportive.

You also want to watch for clues that your reconciliation plan is working. For example you want to notice if she is genuinely happy to see you when you arrive, and does she look for you more often than before. If you see any positive sign at all this indicates that you are on the right track to win her back.

By reminding her of your good qualities and by being attentive and caring you have given your ex girlfriend a chance to fall in love with you all over again. So if you want to get your girlfriend back, take a minute to think about what it is that ruined your relationship, and fix it.

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Holding handsXSmallAfter the Affair is Over – Can You Forgive?

To forgive, or to be forgiven, neither one is easy. More often than not an affair is the end of a relationship, but it does not have to be. Of course there are times when it should end, but there are times when the relationship should be resurrected and allowed to continue.

Trust is a delicate matter. There is really no way to prove that you are trustworthy other than to live that way. Over time people understand that they can trust you. What takes years to establish can be destroyed in a matter of minutes, or so it seems.

The fact that you had an affair in the first place indicates that there was something lacking in your relationship in the first place. So not only will you have to reestablish that you are indeed trustworthy, but you will have to repair whatever was broken with your relationship in the first place. Otherwise you will just find yourself in the same predicament once again

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Build a SOLID Relationship Now

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So before you even try to redeem yourself take a minute to figure out what was missing from your world before you took your misstep. Obviously you were unhappy for some reason. Was sex boring? Was she busy? Was she unkempt? Were you looking for a way out of your relationship? Be clear before you try to repair your relationship, because if you strayed as a way of ending your relationship then you will just be traveling in a crazy circle.

The Two Questions You Want to Ask Yourself

So the two questions that you need to answer for yourself are, what was broken, and what do I need to do to fix it? Then you will know how much of the problem you have control over and how much belongs to your girlfriend.

As you begin to work on the underlying problem, it will give you time to rebuild your trustworthiness. Repairing your relationship may involve counseling. It will certainly involve conversation, and it will probably involve compromise on everybody’s part. You can start by keeping your word every time no matter how small the promise that you make is. If you promise to walk the dog every morning, then you better be outside with a dog on the leash before your girlfriend has a chance to remind you. You want to be consistent and proactive. This type of behavior will go a long way towards reestablishing the trust that you lost.

Understandably your girlfriend will need to hear that you are sincere. She will see that you are doing all of the right things, but you need to tell her that you intend to continue to do the right things as well. When she sees you behaving well and hears your intentions to continue behaving well you give her the opportunity to forgive you. Be patient. You are asking for a big thing here, so give her time to get there.

This does not mean that you walk around apologizing all of the time, but when you can tell that she is feeling a little insecure, and maybe even rightfully so, it is your job to allay her fears and let her know that everything will be fine.

Working to save this relationship may be the hardest thing that you have ever done in your life. But if you can pull it off, it will be one of the most rewarding things in your life as well.

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